• Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    While I agree, one rarely knows the reason they were ghosted. So the fact that it could be your phone and not you can take the sting out.

    • dfc09@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Yeah, sometimes it’s just a bad vibe or something they might think is silly but they can’t ignore their instincts. So a woman may tell you it’s something like your phone or the restaurant was too cheap, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s true.

      I’ve found there’s a big subset of people, myself included when I don’t watch for it, who can’t help but try to pick apart the reasoning behind “No” if you give them a full explanation.

      Explaining your thought process on why you are declining gives them the tools to try to change your mind, to explain to you why your answer was wrong.

      If you just want to wash your hands of situation, saying no with little to no explanation stops them from trying to salvage it, to convince you otherwise. I feel like giving a stupid bullshit explanation like “you have an android” may be the same idea.

      • jet@hackertalks.com
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        9 months ago

        Exactly this, the polite excuse vs the rational are different. Even when talking to friends you might use the excuse because you don’t want to go into details.