Will anyone actually buy this argument?
Me, the cable company: “If you don’t let me charge people an assortment of fines and fees after they’ve signed up for service, then I’ll increase our base rate before they sign up.”
Consumers, looking at the high price of cable: “Fuck, I can’t afford this. Guess I won’t sign up.”
Me, the cable company: “Regulations are destroying my business!!!”
“See when I slap you in the face that’s actually a really nice thing of me to do. Because if I don’t slap you in the face I’d kick you in the groin really hard instead. Do you want to get kicked in the groin? No? That’s what I thought.”
Cable companies say they’ll will raise the price without early termination fees? Oh please. They’ll do that whether there’s early termination fees or not. They’re just threatening to bump it up on the schedule.
Believe it or not, the same study actually said giving me a million dollars is also a good thing
I accidentally send you 2 million could you please send back 1 million?
How many gift cards is that?
please take in your hand a pen and a piece of paper
please be in front of your computer right now
If you do not pay us the IRS, we will put you under the rest.
Omg I got one a few months ago from the “Medicare Police”. Most hilarious stuff I’ve heard in a long time.
You will be behind the bars!
WHY DO YOU REDEEM
Oh look. The “We’ll hurt people a different way if you stop us from hurting them this way!” argument.
I wonder who else has made that argument? Oh yeah the Mafia and Cartels.
I’d like to think that this is all some massive gambit by the FCC to get all these assholes on record so they can build some massive RICO case to take them all down in a massive price fixing and defrauding scheme.
But I am high right now.
Seeing this episode when it came out vs in 2023 really hit different. It never dawned on me how finely honed their comedy was that season.
Which episode is that?
Basic Cable
South Park: Season 23, Episode 9
“Early termination fees are good because without them, we will just do something worse.”
Something better, as the price would be overt and transparent rather than arbitrary and hidden.
early termination fees for anything are complete made up bullshit
Early termination fees are not that horrible. They can give you a monthly cost where some of the costs for installing it might be distributed over they contact period. Fine and ok
But i should still be able to cancel my contract without jumping through 11 loops and queues.
If you sign up for a given contract, that’s what you have agreed upon. It sucks if you only have one option and they can set a ridiculous price. So if you want to regulate pricing, that’s a different matter. Cancelling is something else altogether.
What costs to install equipment? Most homes are already wired for their services. The lines they roll out to new users are usually subsidized by taxes and running coax into a house is not that expensive.
If you sign up for a given contract
Listen, it says clear as day down here in the fine print that I get a pound of flesh closest to your heart. I don’t see what you’re complaining about, a contract is a contract.