13 year old: “I’ll just take the death penalty, thanks."

Surveys indicate that 100% of people respond to surveys.

There are people who, disturbed by “big government” today and its tendency to curb the advantages they might gain if their competitiveness were allowed free flow, demand “less govern- ment.” Alas, there is no such thing as less government, merely changes in government. If the libertarians had their way, the distant bureaucracy would vanish and the local bully would be in charge. Personally, I prefer the distant bureaucracy, which may not find me, over the local bully, who certainly will. And all historical precedent shows a change to localism to be for the worse.

—Isaac Asimov, Nice Guys Finish First, collected in The Sun Shines Bright, 1981

Conan the Barbarian (1982) has no right to be as good as it is. On paper, it’s a dumb sword and sorcery flick with a body builder who could barely speak English in the lead. But everyone involved does an incredible job, from the acting to the directing, to the score. It’s a crime that Destroyer trashed up the formula, and we never got Conan the King.

I cried when they canceled The Venture Brothers.

My best friends and I watched every new episode when they aired while we were in college. After I graduated we all pretty much drifted apart, but when Publick and Hammer would actually get around to putting out another season it felt like I was back in that dorm lobby on that smelly couch, watching this show on a huge rear protection TV, with a group of people that were closer to me than anyone ever before or since.

When they canceled the show it felt like there was this unicorn at the zoo, and then one day the zookeeper just went out into the enclosure, blew its brains out, shrugged, and announced “Too expensive to feed!” I was devastated.

Fans of The The in absolute shambles.

“So anyway, that was the beginning of my transition journey and also how I became an absolute master of giving HJs.”

Now I’ll never know what people mean when they say “those cupcakes won’t fill a sauna”!

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

—Mitch Ratcliffe

Where Is My Mind?

Heroes of Might and Magic III, PC

What OS are you using? I was trying to use my Anbernic with wireless controllers, but the default OS keeps forgetting the mapping on the controllers every time I switch to a different game and it was impractical to have to keep remapping them over and over.

I also would like the answer to this question.

Get some real nihilists in there.

I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.

I’ve got a 353p and I love the form factor, but I’d like to use it more as a console attached to the TV. The default OS keeps forgetting the mapping on the Bluetooth controllers I’ve got, though, so I need to remap them for every game. Have you got a recommendation for a better setup, such that I could leave the thing plugged into the TV and not have to manually reconfigure it every time I start a new game?

My mom once gave me a cat litter scoop like this one

in my Christmas stocking. This was not, to my knowledge, in the context of a conversation about needing to clean up after the cat more often, but for all I know it was her way of subtly trying to get the point across.

Damien, Jason, Freddie