The “Five Eyes” concept has to be the dumbest, most transparent example of the “I’m not touching you” defense to charges of constitution circumvention.

I know this is probably a mundane engineering thing, but it sounds like a ramp up to a Black Mirror episode. We just need some kind of social commentary. Maybe the waste energy secretly contain MacGuff-ons, a known chrono-hazard. Only the poorest people will use it, for lack of alternative?

https://unbreakableumbrella.com/unbreakable-walking-stick-umbrella-standard/

Don’t know of this is the sort of thing you’re looking for. It comes with a removable cap for using it as a cane. Beneath the cap is a metal spike, but it’s not sharp. It’s good as an umbrella and is extremely, absurdly, strong. I’ve heard the handle can get kind of gummy if left in the sun, but I haven’t had that problem. Be forewarned that the marketing for it is a self-indulgent cesspool of mall ninja, incel, “alpha male” defensive violence fantasies. It is a good product, though.