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Cake day: June 28th, 2023

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  • I’ll list some hobbies at the end but for me, I struggled feeling motivated after work to do anything but eat and be entertained. It got pretty bad until I decided I needed to figure out something different. I thought I was just missing hobbies but even as I picked some hobbies up (usually on weekends) I wouldn’t do them during the week.

    Most of my issues revolved around stress (from work), turns out.

    I still struggle with this so don’t expect a magic solution, but what I found was that my job was actually a lot more stressful than I thought. To the point where I’d wake up in the night thinking about work problems that for sure weren’t a big deal and that for sure wouldn’t be solved half asleep. So now I try and be more productive at work to make sure I avoid deadlines getting tight, and towards the end of the day I make sure my tasks are simple, if possible. I also try and take lots of breaks and I check in with myself “am I relaxed right now?” “would a break make me more productive” - and I unfortunately found that media isn’t a good break for me at work. Somehow the stress stays, while also adding in cravings for more dopamine-inducing activities. Good breaks for me include walking, actively listening to music, daydreaming, planning stuff (holidays, dinner, my upcoming evening, weekend), reading (pretty much anything), and learning new stuff (I’m studying Spanish and chess right now, recently learned all of my PLL algorithms on a Rubik’s Cube). I’m a software engineer for context.

    The largest stress benefit for me has been biking to work. Yeah, I almost get ran over sometimes which is scary (even with bike paths 90% of my route, you still gotta cross roads, and even with a walk sign cars still won’t see you), but driving during rush hour is stressful (there are studies on this but I’m too lazy to link any). Biking is just fun. I even bike in winter (studded tires and poggies/bar mits). Since not everyone has the luxury of biking, exercising immediately after work is something to consider. It for sure helps me separate work from home. There’s plenty of studies on exercise lowering stress.

    And if your job isn’t too stressful, there’s another issues with not committing to hobbies… For me, it was that I was/am addicted to media. Once I get started with some dinner and YouTube, it’s hard not to lose a couple hours. Best advice for easing out of it is audiobooks make it easy after eating to do chores/walk/not get more food. But other than audiobooks, avoid consuming media while eating. Also avoid media served by an algorithm. It’s so easy to watch a great video, and refresh the recommendations to look for another. Then you’re watching sub-par videos just hoping for a good one… Wasting tons of time. I use an extension to hide video recommendations. I can still search, and browse my subscriptions, but it saves me a lot of time (extension is called unhook I believe).

    My username is actually centered around the idea that the more passive an activity, the less valuable it is to you. I personally want more active hobbies in my life. It is weird to me that so many fulfilling hobbies exist, but I regularly waste evenings on YouTube…

    If you can have low stress and minimal cravings for YT/Netflix, here’s some hobbies:

    • Get a dog (huge commitment, consider a cat if you’re too busy) but mine forces me on 3 walks a day, and I’ve love training her
    • Learn something on your bucket list (I mentioned Rubik’s cubes, chess, and Spanish already), cooking has been mentioned by others
    • I enjoy free diving (diving with goggles, but you hold your breath instead of scuba). I enjoy training my breath hold, and everyone thinks I drowned when I first go underwater at a lake or something (I can only dive for around 40 seconds but that impresses people (this includes swimming)). I can also dive pretty deep which is fun. It’s also a bit surreal to be deep underwater with good vision and be comfortable
    • I recently dipped my toes into making music, I have a guitar, trombone, and someday I’d like to learn piano
    • Having/riding a motorcycle is a great hobby. Seems like it wouldn’t be, but in summer I’m often looking for excuses to go ride.
    • Bike commuting is great fun. Get some saddle bags to pick up groceries and enjoy the weather when you run out of eggs
    • Mountain biking was the easiest hobby for me to dive completely into. Spent loads of money, built my current hardtail part by part. I’m even thinking about traveling south to bike in the winter cause I miss it so much. I live in a place with good trails close to home. Easy for me to go riding before or after work.
    • Camping, Fishing, Backpacking, Hiking, Snowshoeing, Back-country skiing/snowboarding, all great fun. Make great weekend trips too. Go explore your state
    • Check out letterboxing. It’s a bit like geocaching but no GPS, just clues/puzzles. My letterboxing journal always makes people ask questions
    • My wife and I like getting hotels in small towns nearby (within 2 hours). We’ll walk the town, get food, and have a lot of free time to read or play board games, or other adult activities
    • Read. I try and read a book a month. I find that reading before bed helps me sleep WAY better. If I go to bed early and stay up late reading, I think I sleep better than if I went to bed somewhere in the middle without reading.
    • Write. I love writing. Sometimes don’t know what to write about, but even typing out how I’m feeling today and what I’d like to get done - and then deleting it - lifts my mood
    • I’m into software, I run a homelab. Huge time suck. I love it.
    • Video games. Might seem super passive, but I think I actually play less than I want to. For sure different than watching YouTube. Some games are challenging even. I have a huge backlog. Tons of fun to play with friends. My wife and I just started Baulders Gate 3 together
    • Exercise can be great. I love running in good weather. Some friends of mine got big into cycling. My wife likes the gym. My favorite workouts are to run to the college track and then do body-weight exercises there (and practice my handstands) before running back. I also enjoy Yoga, but do a lot less than I’d like
    • Board games/Card games - I enjoy Magic, but the company has made it hard to be a fan (same for DND). Flesh and Blood has been fun, but I haven’t played a lot of it. On the board game side; Starwars the deckbuilding game, chess, dominion, and cosmic encounters are all good. You’d be surprised how many people want to play board games. In the few game nights I’ve hosted we barely got to play anyone’s games they brought.

    Adventure is out there. Don’t waste your youth. Some of these might not seem like ideal after work hobbies, but most are totally doable in an evening.



  • Yeah definitely some lasting consequence. I’m a pretty good liar, and extremely skilled at manipulating people to calm down. Sometimes I wish I stood my ground better and let there be friction between me and others. Instead I sort of morph into whatever they need, sometimes abandoning my core principals. It came in handy to save my siblings’ asses a few times though. But literally just yesterday my wife was video calling her mom and showed her my brand new ear piercings (which I’ve wanted my whole life, but is a huge no no for men in Mormon circles, so it’ll be a big deal when my side of the family finds out) - anyway, I wanna stretch/gauge them because I like the look of small tunnels, so my mother in law says, “they look so nice, but you won’t gauge them, right?” And I’m like “no of course not” because I know it’s probably a bit shocking to her that I pierced them at all. But I wish I instead said something non-commital like “not now, but I love the look of small gauges”

    Overall, the biggest effect is probably the distance I feel towards my parents lol

    If your curious, I’d describe myself as quite chill, but very reserved. I wouldn’t even say I was constantly on guard… I was just a good liar. Got caught for very few things. I have a lot of siblings though (10), so I doubt I’d have had as much opportunity if I were an only child or something


  • They were scared of unmonitored access to the internet. And only up to T rated games were allowed, so for Halo I used to trade game cases with friends to hide what I owned. And since my parents were extremely Snoopy, I’d even switch my T rated games around so they thought I was just too lazy to match a game disk with it’s case, and never get too suspicious.

    Edit: Programming was allowed, just had to be on the shared computer in our living room where everyone could see what you were doing.

    When I was leaving for college I bought a laptop and they made me keep it in the box until I left. It was honesty torture. I wanted to set it up and stuff but they insisted that our home computer would work fine…