That was a pretty funny read!
I’m guessing this could be a common use case difference? Maybe touring in smaller stints makes the goldwing seem like way too much overkill, but if I were to do a bike trip across the US, I’d much prefer riding on a goldwing vs a smaller and more “functional” bike. Several thousand miles can be a real killer without all those comfy bells and whistles.
I agree, a good pocket knife is a great purchase!
One thing for readers to keep in mind is that unless you know how to fight with a knife (and know that the assailant doesn’t have a firearm), then it’s a very bad idea to brandish a knife even as a threat. If the assailant is able to disarm you, then you’ll be in a much worse situation than if you didn’t have the knife at all.