Luckily you don’t need Window$. You can install Edge on your Linux distro of choice! Will it then show warnings telling you Edge is the bestest browser when you use it to search for another browser? Who knows, why not try it and find out??? Please someone use Edge on Linux, Micro$oft is now a friend of Linux
Self hosting doesn’t mean you should host everything yourself at home, using a VPS you manage (so the data inside it is still yours) is also a viable option for selfhosting. I myself host some services at home and a few others in a VPS.
As for Dyndns, I’ve used a few providers over the years. DuckDNS is the one I’ve been using for 5 years or so and it’s not failed me once. Pretty happy with it.
Maybe you could have a duckdns pointing to your dynamic IP and your domains / subdomains with a CNAME pointing to the dyndns address?