Wow, haven’t seen a roflcopter in a long time.

What you said is often true but not always. Some communities prefer person-first language, some prefer identity first language.

For example, generally speaking, “autistic people” is preferred over “people with autism”. The reasoning being “this is just part of who I am, it’s not an affliction that I have.”

I’m not autistic but I have lots of friends who are, and they all prefer to say “I’m autistic” rather than “I have autism”.

Like you said, it’s best to ask, or just copy the language that the person uses for themself.