Automated book grabbing is very hard imo. I’ve tried readarr and a bunch of other things. I settled on just manually downloading what I want and sending to kindle. There isn’t going to be a good automated setup until indexers get better for ebooks or readarr somehow adds support for irc downloads.

Second stremio. I use the torrentio addon without rd but always with vpns. It’s a backup for me for when my main nas goes down so I don’t want to pay for rd.

I’m not the guy you asked but I do the same thing. In the tailscale dashboard you can set up a default DNS for every device that is connected to your tailnet. They support nextdns and a couple other things. I have mine pointed to my personal adgaurd home server that is within my tailnet and it works great. I used nextdns for a while but didn’t want to pay for it. It also worked great with tailscale.

OpenBooks by Evan buss on GitHub. It’s an irc based downloader and I have been able to find even the most obscure stuff with it. At least so far.

I don’t, no. I’m on the android train but my mother in law is all apple. She adds books from her phone then they are there to read on her iPad when she goes to bed.

Zlibrary / libgen and just open the files in apple books. Works across devices for me.

I was very close to closing on a house in rural midwest but I checked isp’s and every one available had caps so I just stayed away.