I’m not sure if this is the right place but me and my friend group have lately become privacy conscious and wanted to stop using discord and other types of social media, and only log onto self hosted options that only we can access.

we’ve eliminated something like Revolt (now named Stoat due to it missing ideal features and the developers being anti-decentralized (as well as being extremely hostile to the userbase noticably…)

Does anyone have any idea what would be an ideal service to use?

  • Eirikr70@jlai.luEnglish
    6·
    4 months ago

    There are many solutions. I have chosen xmpp/ejabberd/conversations/monal.

    • ArchEngel@lemmy.caEnglish
      1·
      4 months ago

      You know, I’m really curious about xmpp, kinda wanna check it out, but then every time I am reminded that it exists it comes with a new and different chain of dependencies? other apps? whatever the other things are anyways that people list with it. And then I don’t bother researching because suddenly it seems like the more complicated option. Not intending to insult, just lamenting.

      • Andres@social.ridetrans.it
        2·
        4 months ago

        @ArchEngel @Eirikr70 You can try it out by just downloading a client and registering an account on a free server. It’s all here: https://xmpp.org/getting-started/.

        Once you find a client you like and decide you want to stick with it, you can install a server you like. Prosody, snikket, and ejabberd are the most well-regarded (and snikket is just a fork of prosody that’s designed to have a super easy setup; so realistically you’re down to a choice between two).

  • SidewaysHighways@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    4 months ago

    I’ve had a little snikket (prosody docker, xmpp) sever running for a year. monacles or cheogram are just fine, playing games with the fam in the chats is really cool.

    dino or gajim on desktop.

    calls work well, but android doesn’t treat it as an actual phone call (home assistant automations based on phone state won’t work)

    and I’ve just now gotten direct messaging tied into home assistant, so i can use it for general notifications. it’d be awesome to get encryption though.

    omemo is a bit of a pain, but they’ve all caught on.

    but yeah i mean, very little hassle

  • stratself@lemdro.idEnglish
    4·
    4 months ago

    due to it missing ideal features

    what features do you want? kindly elaborate

    XMPP with Snikket could be an easy solution. If you don’t want to talk to the wider web make sure to disable federation.

    • Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zoneBannedEnglish
      1·
      4 months ago

      Snikket is great. I liked my choice of Prosody with Monocles and Gajim for server, Android and Windows/Linux, respectively

  • tal@lemmy.todayEnglish
    3·
    4 months ago

    IRC, though you’ll want to use it over TLS.

    XMPP, which someone else listed, is also good if you want a more instant-message-like interface.

  • Wawe@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    4 months ago

    I personally use Matrix for this. Artyom kinda summarizes issues of all chats pretty well. If you use Yunohost installing Matrix is at least easy. Matrix/Element is good enough and even my non tech wife is able to use it.

  • farcaller@fstab.shEnglish
    1·
    4 months ago

    I’m in a same boat, honestly.

    Matrix has decent clients but managing a matrix instance is a world of pain, especially if you federate. And its resource use is really bad then: a single user instance can easily demand 4gb ram if you are in a couple popular chatrooms. Key propagation is oftentimes broken. Clients all have mixed support of features.

    Xmpp is a joy to host, but there are no decent clients for iOS.

    IRC is easy to host, but the IRCv3 coverage for clients is also meh.

    I was looking for something that I could throw at casual people with relative ease and there’s just not a thing. Even the “techy” chat is in discord nowadays.