Okay, I feel like this needs to be addressed as well: this, like, public self-flagellation is not useful either. I have never once been ashamed of being a man.

The problem that men have here is cultural and systemic, it’s expressed with statistics and social norms—it really, really has nothing to do with you or me specifically.

If you’ve already done the work of recognizing that negging women is extremely rude, then you’ve already improved as a person. There’s no reason to be self-loathing about it.