• HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    My dad has a lot from growing up in a small farming community in Kansas:

    “Shakin like a dog shittin prune seeds.”

    “I gotta piss like a race horse.”

    “So dumb you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”

    • Baahb@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 months ago

      “Shaking like a dog shitting razor blades” is the opening of an alkaline trio song. They’re out of Chicago, so I don’t think this is local to small town Kansas. Also I’m from Texas and piss like a racehorse was fairly common.

    • Bob@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      8 months ago

      We have variants of those in northern England too. Shaking like a shitting dog and pissing like a police horse.

      • Dharma Curious@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        8 months ago

        Southern US, heard police horse but racehorse is more common. But my family’s was always “gotta piss like a pregnant woman” and “gotta piss so bad my back teeth are floating”

    • gordon@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      8 months ago

      I once heard a coworker say: “if brains were gunpowder, they couldn’t blow their nose”.

      A friend will occasionally say “that’ll make you take back shit you never stole”, which apparently means the thing (whatever he was talking about) was good.