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Wait … that’s not normal?
An unfortunate number of people view debates as “winning” vs “losing” and tie their ego to it.
I love debating, and especially love it when I get the chance to be wrong and learn from my mistakes. Man, I really am a weirdo.
I strongly think it’s because people can grow up trained to tie their identity to their beliefs and values. Self reflection becomes a direct attack on their identity.
Yep, sometimes we’re talking about something at work and in the middle of explaining my point I understand the flaw and just “oh, nevermind, you guys are righ” always a good exercise in logic and humility
The best managers and experts are like this. It’s good to be wrong and take it like a champ.
I regularly encourage my co workers to speak out loud with me when going over processes or thoughts because by bouncing it between the 2 of us it’s more likely that one of us will spot the massive glowing mistake someone made
So far it’s been working quite well as we build out an entirely new SOP from scratch
If it’s a friend I just double down for shits and giggles
Shit, I have a friend where we start out doubling down on the over emphatic belief. It’s a running joke
I have done this multiple times at work when discussing different approaches and my suggestion was missing some assumptions. Also at home when I start talking through what is needed to fix something and I switch to “Let’s call a professional.”
Wish more people were as open because when a few people do that together things get done really fast and with minimal issues.
is there a word for this?
i bet if there is, it’s German for some reason.
I always double down when those thoughts creep in. No one can change my mind, not even me. I know that person and they’re an idiot.
“-- on second thought, now that I’ve said it aloud I realize I’ve mischaracterized the issue. I rescind my case, sorry bout that folks, not sure how I mucked that one up”
I was hanging out with my friend in his backyard and we heard some incredibly loud birds. I asked if he knew what they were and he said he thought robins.
I suggested we should go out with [some other friends who recently got into birding] and he wasn’t on board…
“Ehhh birding is like…you gotta go out to the woods and walk around until you hear one…so you’re just kinda chillin there…”
I interrupted him. “Dude…you love hanging out. You love hiking. You LOVE the woods.”
“Yeah. I realized as soon as I started talking that I’d love it but I just let my mind form an argument anyway for some reason”
Or maybe – and this might be radical so hear me out – normalize thinking before you speak.
Does that mean stop thinking while speaking though?
Most people think most of the time.
Nope.
