Aayyy, Big Balls is back! Guess he didn’t learn his lesson the first time.

Get a one-on-one trainer, talk to your vet. Don’t take the internet’s advice beyond this point.

Go suck a railroad spike, ya jabroni.

You can opt out IF you find the hidden Mickey.

Shoutout amphetamine, awesome little app.

Ride some kickass roller coasters.

This is more of a tool, but I have a set of 4” knipex cobra pliers that are perfect for around the house. Just small enough to fit into about any space, super grippy, and you can easily make minute adjustments to the plier spacing. I’ve used them more than any other tool I own.

Oh, and noise-canceling headphones (ideally over-the-ear). Instant quality of life upgrade.

And wouldn’t you know, it’s currently no. 11 on the iOS App Store’s list of free apps, just behind DoorDash. Chat, are they cooked

“25 or 6 to 4” by Chicago. He’s a band geek at heart, so the horn section is a must.

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Gassin up the bois at the urinal

“You took the box! Let’s see what’s in the box! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!”

Blackmailr? Shoot, sign me up! Intake question 1: Have you ever whacked it on a plane to join the “half-mile-high club?”

Which Bruce Springsteen song was it about growing up and having to either work at the town dildo bike factory or go to war?

Whatever Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was.

And for the boys, creepy crawlers! Man those fumes are a strong memory.

Nitecore edit (S L O W E D + R E V E R B)

“Can I cook mine?”

“No, you must eat it raw.”

Always follow the instructions on the label in case it’s hang-dry only, dry everything on low, turn your jeans inside-out, and never use fabric sheets (wool dryer balls work almost as well without the chemicals).